Highland Temptation Page 11

  “Alan, is Kirstie in there with ye?” Eslpeth’s voice filtered in through the door, but as much as she loved and missed her mother, her query had not penetrated the hazy fog of pain that had clouded the room. Sitting up, she pulled the covers to her chest like a shield against Alan’s hurtful words replaying over and over again in her head.

  Mistake. Mistake. Mistake.

  “Give me a moment, please.” He finished dressing and pulled on his boots.

  Alan unlatched the door, and it flew in. A small, determined woman pushed him aside to get to her.

  “Are ye hurt?”

  Kirstie shook her head no but thought, Yes, yes, it hurts more than words can say. She was glad she hadn’t voiced it when her mother continued, “We heard about the attack. How’s yer arm?”

  Oh, she’d forgotten about that. Her mother reached out to take her hand and hold it up. It was still wrapped in a cloth bandage. “’Twill be fine. I barely feel it.”

  Elspeth turned. “Alan, are ye hurt?”

  “Nae, I am all right.” Kirstie peeked around her mother to see Alan stood by the door with arms folded to block the view of whoever else was there.

  “I need to go. Ye cannae be seen with me,” Alan said as he turned and disappeared through the door, shutting it behind him.

  Elspeth released the grip on her and leaned back. “Have ye two finally come to yer senses?”

  She felt her face crumble. “He doesnae want me.”

  It was safe to talk to her mother. Other than Blair, Elspeth was the only one she’d ever told of her affection for Alan.

  “Did he tell ye that?” Elspeth quirked her brow.

  “Nae, but he might as well have.” She pouted and glanced down at the bed.

  “Ye are wrong. I’m amnae sure why he is holding back. He cares for ye deeply.” Her mother took her hands and held them.

  “How would ye ken? I’ve no’ been home for ye to see him with me.”

  “I ken how his eyes light and his ears tilt in when we mention yer name. ’Tis like a pup waiting for a piece of meat he kens yer about to drop from the table.”

  “Yeah, so he can chew me up, swallow, and wait for the next.” She wiped at her eyes with the blanket.

  “Ye ken what I mean.”

  “Well, I am done with him. ’Tis time I moved on and stopped running.” She broke free of her mother’s soothing hands and crawled from the bed to dress.

  “Aye, I agree. ’Tis time for ye to come home. I tried no’ to get involved and let ye two work it out, but that may no’ have been the best course.” Her mother gave a firm nod.

  “I have pined after him since I was a child. I am nae longer a little girl. I will make my own happiness instead of waiting for him to come to me.” She pulled the dress up around her and tucked the shift under the material.

  “Ye ken if I tell yer brother I found ye in a compromising position with Alan, he would ask him to make ye his wife.”

  “Nae, we only kissed. Dinnae do that, because he would resent me. Besides, Alan has been treated like my brother for years and is considered an appropriate chaperone by all the Camerons.”

  Her mother nodded, and she knew her wishes would be followed.

  After the gown was fastened, Kirstie touched her lips. Her body still tingled with the desire he’d awoken inside her. She didn’t regret the kiss; it had been magical, and it had been real.

  She remembered Alan’s burning eyes as they looked at her with such need she’d wanted to dissolve into him. Those eyes hadn’t lied. He did want her.

  For the first time, she admitted her mother was right. There was something there and he was fighting it. If she continued to be easily attainable, he’d never get close again. It was time to show him what he would miss if he let her go. And if he truly didn’t want her, so be it. She would find someone else and move on. She was done living on a dream that would never come true.

  Kirstie turned back to Elspeth. “How is Maggie? Did she have the babe?”

  “Aye. He is such a bonny wee thing.”

  “A boy.” Kirstie’s eyes lit. “Did they name him?”

  “They named him William.”

  Kirstie’s eyes watered. “Och, ’tis a fine, strong name.” She draped one of Alan’s extra plaids over her shoulders, and she and her mother headed for the door.

  Once outside, Dougal interrupted their conversation. “Hurry, we cannae be seen here. It puts us all at risk.”

  She did as instructed, but when she could find one of her brothers, they had some explaining to do—why were they and Alan acting as if they hated one another?

  …

  Alan had put himself in an impossible situation. That kiss this morning had pushed him over the edge. The wall he’d built to protect himself and Kirstie had crumbled as easily as the wooden blocks children played with. He’d been such a fool to think he could touch her and not want more.

  Now Elspeth and Lachlan knew she had spent the night with him. Would they forgive him if they knew nothing had happened? Well, almost nothing had happened.

  The temptation had been too great, but last night only proved that he couldn’t be with her. He’d lost all control and nearly beaten the arse in the stables to death. He was a monster, and Kirstie wasn’t safe with him. If the pain in his side hadn’t reminded him, he might have gone too far last night. He’d almost kissed her then, and there wouldn’t have been anyone to stop them.

  Hell. He might not have been able to stop just now if Elspeth hadn’t knocked on that door. His hand still trembled as he remembered the slight curve of Kirstie’s waist and her soft skin. Her reaction to his touch had lit a fire in him no woman before had ever been able to produce.

  He had tried so hard not to follow in his father’s footsteps, but here he was, falling for the one lass who was forbidden. He ran his hand through his hair. Och, he was such a fool. He might have just lost what meant most to him, the only real family he’d ever had.

  Brushing by Dougal in the hall, he whispered, “Get them back to the castle and then meet me at the safe place.”

  The Camerons shouldn’t be seen anywhere near him. He’d taken a risk bringing Kirstie here last night, but he’d been cautious, sneaking her into the inn. Having them all here this morning was perilous, but at least it was early and most would still be in bed.

  Continuing on without waiting for a reply, he descended the stairs. Relieved to see no one about, he collected his horse and took off for a tavern two villages away. It was a secluded town, well off the path most would take on a traditional route into the city and far enough from Edinburgh that it could serve as a place for emergency meetings.

  A couple hours later, Alan spied Dougal, as the Cameron man stepped through the door of the tavern and made his way to the private dining alcove in the back of the main room. Pulling the thin curtain closed, the man left a small opening to watch for the arrival of any new patrons. “They came in last night,” he answered before Alan could ask.

  “Lachlan?” He looked directly into Dougal’s eyes, thinking if he showed courage he would eventually feel it, but as he sat there waiting for the Cameron man’s answer, he dreaded the fall of the knife that would sever the brotherly bonds he’d built over the years.

  “Aye,” Dougal said.

  Alan dropped his head into his palms while his elbows dug into the table. He swallowed. His hands slid to his temple, and he stared at the table. Any appearance of calm had disappeared. “Is he angry?”

  “He didnae look too pleased when he got yer message. If he had known where ye were last night, I’m sure he would have come.”

  “Why did he no’ come now?” Facade back in place, he looked up.

  “He had matters to discuss with Malcolm, and Elspeth said she would retrieve Kirstie.” There was a lot of information Malcolm had to pass on to Lachlan.

  “No
thing happened.” Alan shook his head.

  Dougal snorted. “Do ye think that will matter to him?”

  He started to offer excuses for why he hadn’t made sure Kirstie made it back to her room last night, but it didn’t matter what he said. He had crossed a line, and no excuse would be good enough. Despite the ache in his ribs, he should have slept on the floor outside the room. Then he wouldn’t have to deal with Lachlan or this unwanted ache that told him Kirstie should be his.

  Lachlan would never force them to wed, and if the man couldn’t see into his heart, he would probably blow off the whole incident as Alan doing the right thing and protecting his sister. But he suspected Lachlan knew of the hidden desire for Kirstie he held buried deep inside. It was probably why he had never asked him to accompany the family to visit her.

  “I cannae believe Lachlan left Maggie,” he said.

  Dougal glanced around to ensure no one else had entered the tavern and could overhear, but he still leaned in to whisper. “They received yer note two days after Maggie had her babe, and she insisted they come to get Malcolm out of danger. She said she and the babe would be all right until they were back.”

  “Ye have to tell Lachlan I caught Kirstie sneaking into Argyll’s room. He and Malcolm will have to keep a closer eye on her. She must ken something of the plot, but I havenae had a chance to find out what she kens.”

  Dougal’s eyes widened. “I’ll tell him. He’s already told Finlay and me to keep her in our sights after what happened last night.”

  “We need to watch her closely. Her proximity to the Covenanters is unnerving, but I also think she’s learned something of the plot and is looking to gather information from them.”

  “Lachlan kens that until the Macnabs take a side, he needs to bring Kirstie home to Kentillie, but he cannae risk alienating them until they’ve chosen. So, he’s not going to keep them from her while we’re here in Edinburgh.”

  Lachlan was always levelheaded, but he didn’t know how deep Kirstie had dug herself in. “Why does he no send her and Malcolm home now?”

  “He might. Who kens what he’ll do when he finds out everything that’s going on, but until then, ’twill be up to ye to keep Kirstie safe when she’s around them.”

  Oh hell, he couldn’t spend all that time near Kirstie. He didn’t know if he could be near her anymore without thinking of how she tasted, how she made him feel, and how she filled a void in his life that he hadn’t even known was there.

  Dougal stood to leave, but Alan grabbed his arm. “Tell him to send her home. She isnae safe here.” But even worse, she isnae safe with me.

  Chapter Eight

  “Marry me, Kirstie Cameron.”

  Kirstie was well aware her eyes must be the size of saucers. They had been strolling along on what had turned into a beautiful sunny morning in a small garden near the castle when Hamish dropped down on one knee.

  She couldn’t speak, and the moment dragged on, an awkward silence between them, until he finally rose back to standing.

  A flash of anger lit his eyes, but it just as quickly disappeared. She shivered but at the same time wondered if she had imagined it.

  “I-I need time. This is so sudden, Hamish.”

  “Do you think Friday night will give you time? I must leave after the meeting.” His words were clipped but calm. She’d never heard him angry and didn’t suspect he ever lost his temper.

  His grip on her fingers was tight, and she wanted to protest and tell him to let go. But she bit back the pain, because she’d just broken his heart. Of course, he would react oddly. A broken heart could do strange things to a person.

  “Aye, ’twill do. Why do ye want to marry me? I amnae Presbyterian.”

  He released her hands. She shook them gently, hoping the numb feeling would disappear. “You have a kind heart, and you would be a good companion and mother.”

  They strolled back down the path toward the castle.

  Spending most of her time with horses, she’d never thought about children. She tried to imagine what a babe of their union might look like. Hamish was not an unattractive man, he had striking hazel eyes, but when the vision of a little boy popped into her head, she saw familiar smoky gray eyes staring back at her. Oh stop, she told herself and pushed the image away.

  “Would I be able to visit Kentillie and my brothers?” The Menzies land was close by.

  He was silent for a moment. “We can visit Kentillie as often as you would like.”

  That made his offer worth considering. She did need a husband. Blair would be married soon, and she had already decided if the Macnabs wouldn’t let her stay to care for the stables, she needed to move on with her life, and this morning, her mother had insisted she needed to start considering a man for a husband.

  Not wanting to dwell on the unpleasant task of planning her future, she changed the subject. “Are ye optimistic for the meeting tomorrow?”

  “Not especially. I have spoken with several of the Royalist leaders, and none of them seem willing to accept the Covenant. It is worth a try. I honestly believe that it would be the best for Scotland and for the souls of all its men and women.”

  She would have to press him further on the religion question before accepting his proposal. She wasn’t willing to change her views, and she wanted her children to share her own. Maybe he would be open-minded to accepting that they could be different and still have a good relationship, but would he also be willing to let her work in his clan’s stables?

  “And if the meeting doesn’t go well, our wedding might bring some kind of peace between our clans.”

  “I will think on it.” She bit her lip.

  A Covenanter wouldn’t be her first choice for a husband. But if their union could somehow help bring peace to some of the fighting factions, it might be worth the sacrifice. Heaven knew Alan didn’t want her, and she did need to marry. Hamish was easy to get along with. She would consider it.

  Blair caught them just as they entered the castle courtyard. “Hello, Hamish.” She beamed at him and turned her radiant smile to Kirstie. “I need to speak to ye. Sorry, Hamish, I need her now,” Blair called over her shoulder as she pulled Kirstie down a pathway and toward the great hall.

  “He didnae look happy with me.” Blair laughed. “But I couldnae wait. Henry asked me to marry him, and I said yes.”

  “Oh, Blair, ’tis wonderful.” She wrapped her arms around her friend. She still had reservations about the bonny Henry, but Blair was so in love with him that she had to be happy for her.

  “When?”

  “I still have to talk to Father and John, but Henry said not to say anything to them until all this business here was over. He didn’t want it to overshadow our news. We will wed in the fall.” Blair squealed and jumped up and down.

  Blair’s enthusiasm was contagious, so when a deep male voice came up from behind and said, “May I escort ye ladies to the meal?” they happily went with Niall to the great hall.

  “Is yer cousin optimistic about the meeting?” she asked Niall once they were seated. She wasn’t sure how to break through the walls, but it was time to start fishing for information.

  “Aye. The Earl of Argyll is a born leader and is confident everyone will come around to see what is best for Scotland.”

  Eager to see Lachlan, she scanned the gathered guests to see if her brothers were present; her gaze was pulled to the door as Alan entered the hall, freezing when he found her. She dismissed him and turned to the man at her side to try to find answers.

  “And what will happen if they dinnae? Will he let them go about their lives?”

  She tilted her head in toward Niall’s to see his gaze riveted on her. She’d worn a demure gown of lilac today, and although it didn’t reveal the top of her cleavage, it was still a flattering cut and shade for her coloring.

  “Nae, something will have to happen. A di
vided Scotland cannae defend herself.” Niall’s stare dipped, and his eyes dilated.

  “I am hoping for the best outcome.”

  Kirstie kept her eyes on Niall and studiously avoided Alan. She found the exercise difficult; she so wanted to know what he was doing and if he was watching. When the meal was over, Niall took her hand and headed out to the courtyard as she cradled her hurt wrist to her belly, thankful the pain was not bad enough that she needed another dose of the medicine. The sun was high in the sky, but clouds were sailing by and the light faded in and out.

  The Earl of Argyll stood on the opposite side of the space. The earl’s eyes caught Niall’s and motioned him over. His stern visage indicated he had something of importance to relay.

  “Excuse me. I must speak with my cousin. Will ye wait right here for me?”

  “Aye. But dinnae keep me waiting too long.”

  As she watched him leave, she realized she’d been looking in the wrong Campbell’s room. Niall appeared to have garnered the trust of his cousin’s inner circle. With the added guests now roaming the halls, there was no way she was going to get caught sneaking into someone’s rooms again, so she resigned herself to spending the evening dining and dancing with Niall to see if she could get more information from him.

  A hand clenched onto her upper arm, and she twirled to come face to face with Alan. His expression was dark and dangerous.

  “What are ye doing with him?” He was angry.

  “Niall? He’s a friend.” Straightening her shoulders, she met his gaze straight on and pushed his hand away.

  “He is dangerous.” Through clenched teeth, moving in so only she could hear, he mouthed, “Ye are aware he is Argyll’s cousin?”

  “Aye.” Although doing her best to look innocent, she knew it was no use with him, but she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of being repentant. Especially knowing all she was to him was a mistake.

  “Of course ye are. Ye are trying to get information. Do ye no’ ken how treacherous that man is?” Grabbing her by the arm again, he started to guide her back toward the castle.